Geeky Jokes – Part III

// September 23rd, 2012 // Geek Humor

We present a collection of Geeky jokes – Part III.

How computer engineers fix a car

Four men rode in a car: a mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer, and a computer engineer.  The car stalled out.

The mechanical engineer said, “It must be the pistons; let’s repair them and be on our way.”

The electrical engineer said, “It has to be the spark plugs; we’ll replace them and be ready to roll in no time at all.”

The chemical engineer said. “No, it’s got to be bad gas; we’ll flush the system and be on our way.”

They turned to the computer engineer. “What do you think we should do?” they asked.

The computer engineer shrugged and said, “Let’s get out of the car, close the doors, then get back in and try restarting it.”

 

Mathematician logic

Three foreigners: a businessman, physicist, and mathematician, are talking about the country they’re all visiting for the first time.  Suddenly, the businessman points out the window in surprise. “Look at that! The sheep in Scotland are black!”

Amused at how readily his new friend jumps to conclusions, the physicist corrects him: “No, all we can be certain of is that some of the sheep in Scotland are black.”

The mathematician looks out the window himself, and corrects the both of them: “We know there exists a sheep in Scotland which is black on at least one side.”

 

Mathematician firefighters

A physicist, a mathematician, and an engineer are staying in a hotel. Outside their rooms, a fire erupts. The physicist steps outside to see the fire along with a bucket and water spigot. He simply fills the bucket with water and pours it on the flames until they go out then returns to bed.

The engineer steps outside to see the fire along with the bucket and water spigot. He meticulously calculates the amount of water needed and the rate of flow to most efficiently and effectively put out the fire. After a few minutes and a couple tests, the fire is extinguished.

The mathematician steps outside and sees the fire. He also notices the bucket and water spigot and exclaims “Their exists a solution” and returns to bed.

 

How cryptographers tell jokes

A newly appointed cryptographer attends a lunch meeting with his peers, who are going around a circle telling jokes. One of the cryptographers shouts “12”, and everyone starts laughing. Another person shouts “34”, which is received with more laughter. The new cryptographer asks one of the people “why is everyone laughing?” to which he responds “instead of taking the time to tell the whole joke, we just assign each joke a number and instead say that number”.

When it’s the new cryptographers turn, he says “-22”, to which everyone bursts in laughter. One of them shouts, “I haven’t heard that one before!”

 

Unix/Linux sex

co /dev/pub/pint > /dev/girl
mv /dev/girl /dev/house
mount /dev/girl
touch
unzip
finger
fsck
yes
yes
y es
umount girl
zip
sleep

 

Computer programmer limerick

There was a programmer named Gus
Who spent all his nights in a fuss.
As he lay in his bed
All that went through his head
Was (while !asleep()) sheep++;

 





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